Sean Bean's Haunted Computer & The Tiny Hot Water Bottles

Since I've only just started this blog, I feel like I should share some treats from before I had it. Things which you may or may not have read before (depending on how well you know me), but are still relevant as ever. One fine example of this is here for your viewing pleasure. It begins with "Today..." which was actually written on the 13th of May 2010. So not that old, news-wise. I hope you enjoy it (again)!

Today I went to donate some blood, my tenth time (I got a medal and everything)! To mark the occasion, I thought I'd share my two most memorable blood donor stories. It's kind of all in one big lump of text, but you'll hopefully follow it easily enough.

The male nurse who stuck the needle in my arm today looks like Sean Bean as Sharpe. I always expect him to make some terrible Sharpe pun when jabbing me, and I hope to one day catch him humming "Over The Hills And Far Away". Next time I go, I will try and sneak a camera in there... but he really is the spitting image of Sheffield's favourite son.

Sean Bean, male nurse

Sadly the illusion is ruined by his mackem accent, but he's always in good spirits and makes better conversation than most of the other staff. Rather than the usual "are you a student?" or "are you doing much tonight?" questions, he tends to spout some utter madness. It normally starts with him asking if whatever T-shirt I happen to have on is a band shirt, which it almost always is. On a previous occasion, he told me how much he was looking forward to going to Sonisphere or similar, to see Metallica and Linkin Park. I'm sure the real Sean Bean prefers some brutal speedcore, but as stated, this bloke just looks like him.

Anyway, I always look forward to seeing him at the church I donate in, just to see what mental things he's been doing in the last couple of months (you'll see why when you read on). He's pretty entertaining, even when he's just singing along to the cheesy 80s crap on the radio.

Today his banter was lacking, and he stuck to the usual "are you alright?" stuff. I tried to make some japery as he said he had to wait 3 minutes for some alcohol cleaning stuff to dry on my arm, by suggesting he gets a pocket fan. Sadly he took the serious route and had a minor rant about health and safety. I suppose you have to have some consideration for such matters when handling bags of blood all day.

However, I will never forget the sheer insanity of my first conversation with him, many donations ago. He was on tea duty, so he has to make conversation with anyone who's just had a good old bleed. It was a quiet time of day so I was the only person he had to talk to for a short while. After the usual t-shirt conversation (I actually wasn't wearing a band shirt for a change, I remember) he randomly asked me if I was any good with computers. I'm not an expert, but I'm typing this now... so I clearly have some knowledge. His predicament involved him not being connected to the internet, something I have experienced many times but not something I can fix. However, that wasn't what he was seeking help with... He told me that despite not being online in any way, he had received an email... from himself!

This seemed like a matter of great concern to him, as the email had contained a polite message along the lines of "Hello Sean (or whatever his real name is), How are you today?"

From this short phrase, he jumped to the conclusion that his computer must be haunted. Yes, really. So yeah, there's that story. I hope you liked it.

Sean Bean's offline computer

The other (non-Sean Bean based) blood donor tale of madness is simpler to explain, but equally ridiculous.

This one took place during one donation during the winter of... some year or other, I can't remember. A while ago anyway. One of the female nurses (Sean Bean is the only male one, I think) was doing the needle insertion and such, and complaining about the cold. It is cold in that church, pretty much all year round... but on this day it was noticeably chilly.

The nurse in question (who didn't really look like any celebrity) told me she enjoyed the job of taking the blood from people as opposed to doing the admin work or questioning people before they bleed... because the pint bags of blood were like tiny hot water bottles! At first I thought she was making a joke, but she held on to my completed donation for quite some time, and then placed it in my own hand, without asking my permission to do so. She's right, they are mighty warm... but is it not weird how she gives them all a good squeeze to warm her hands up? I can picture her offering to pack up at the end up the day, just so she can get all the bags of blood out when everyone else has gone home... to have a bit of a roll around in a big pile of them.

Warming the old fingertips

You don't have to be mad to get a job with the blood donors... but it helps!

I can't wait to see what happens next time...

So there you have it, an old post brought back from the dead. Expect plenty more of these, I initially started this blog to post a couple of reviews that people wanted to link to. Maybe I'll actually post them someday, instead of the usual random stuff. Maybe.