Boots

Less than 2 weeks ago, I turned 24. My housemate and good friend Jamil decided to get me a paint-it-yourself figure of a monkey called Boots. The box indicates that he is from a TV show called Dora The Explorer, which I can't say I've ever seen... though I've heard people mention it. Usually in sentences that begin with "I really hate that program called..."

Anyway, the suggested colour scheme of blue, pink and yellow looked horrible on the box art, and since the character is of no relevance to me, I decided to just paint him like an actual monkey. I say actual monkey, I mean generic cartoon monkey. With gold boots.

I didn't use the provided bright acrylic paints or horrendous plastic fibre brush, otherwise it would have looked like a child did it. It seems unfair how they provide such terrible tools for children, they're never going to do anything good with them. No one is!

Anyway, without further ado, here is Boots the monkey:

As you can see, he's in a bit of a stupid pose. He's sort of looking skyward, but based on the size of his massive head, I suppose it was necessary to prevent the figure from falling over. I took a photo to show more of his face anyway:

Horrible little bugger, isn't he? I wouldn't trust him with any kind of footwear, especially golden boots. If anyone is wondering what his back looks like, then here it is:

Why anyone would wonder what that looks like is beyond me. What, have you never seen a monkey's back? I suppose it does show off the "copyright 2007 Viacom International Inc." thing, which I also decided to paint gold. Finally, how's about a close-up of his disco footwear?

As you can see, I also gloss varnished his boots and the word "Boots" on the stand.

I had a good few hours of entertainment out of this £1.50 statue designed to be painted by a child. Let's face it, they would have only done a balls job and then given up.

He now sits proudly on a shelf above my desk. I was also given a similar paint-it-yourself figure of a horribly sculpted Spiderman, by my housemate Ian. That abomination (Spiderman, not Ian) is getting painted next... Keep an eye out!